Nuffnang

Sunday, 28 October 2007

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after
the attack on the Pentagon... "I'm sorry to hear about the attack.

It is a very big tragedy. But in case,you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

========================

Musharraf calls Bush on 11^th Sept 2001... Mr President,I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings. I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that.

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh,and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...I will call back in an hour!
========================

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?

The barman says "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"


Bush says, "We're planning World War 3"


The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
======================

*Pakistani on the moon:*

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
=========================

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the
dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are
a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers... Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl.

The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"

Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning... Brave American saves life of little girl, the policeman
answers.

"But I am not an American!", says the man. Oh, what are you then?"

The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"

The next day the newspapers say... "A Terrorist kills innocent American dog".


10 comments:

Princess Eileen said...

Wukakaka... terrorist kills an innocent american dog... ROFL LOL... All the jokes are splendid though :P

Hor ny Ang Moh said...

Pakani so bad meh??
Have a nice day!

fargowin said...

Why are we Malaysia not equal to Singapore, some hurtful truths:

When we have to pay RM100 million for an abandoned bridge project.

When thousand of Malaysian motorists have to brace the jam, the fume, the carbon monoxide, and at the expense of the quality family time, to crawl through the causeway everyday to "cari makan".

When thousand of kids from Johor wake up in the wee hours of the morning to catch their school bus to Singapore for their quality education.

When they have one of the highest property ownership in the world.

When they are so many abandoned shopping complexes in Johor, e.g. Sun City, Pacific Mall, Lot 1, Kemayan City, etc.

When there is a railway line from Tg Pelepas to Senai in Johor, built at a cost of many millions but has never been used for at least the last four years.

When their politicians are ex-Malaysians, e.g. Irene Ng (ex-journalist), Khaw Boon Wan (minister of health) and Lee Bee Wah (ex-rubber taper daughter from Rumbai, Melaka).

When their per capita spending power is 5X per capita of an average Malaysian.

When their crime rates are negligible when compared to Johor Baru.

When the biggest shopping complex in Johor, City Square is majority owned by Temasek, an investment arm of Singapore.

When Singapore says cheap, cheap, cheap (like a bird) shopping in Johor.

When Singapore has the most efficient and world class airport, MRT and port system.

When Singapore is ranked so highly in the transparency index as compared to Malaysia.

When Singapore is ranked as the most business friendly place.

When SGD1= RM2.28.

When our public transportation is a real poor cousin of SBS and MRT.

When our professionals are attracted to Singapore in droves.

When our minister sits comfortably and not bringing in the much needed foreign investment to spur growth.

When our best brains in Malaysia are offered scholarship and subsequent citizenship to be Singaporeans.

When Malaysia stop the crux mentality and be more transparent with the award of the bridge, CIQ, other projects etc, without the due process of tender.

When as a wee nation, they are expanding their external economy at breakneck speed by strategic acquisitions.

When as a tiny nation, their foreign reserve is manifold of Malaysia.

When as a backward backyard with no natural resources, Singapore has made it to be one of the most developed nations in one generation.

The list goes on and I weep for Malaysia, not meant as a sarcasm but really as a matter of reality.

San said...

I think most of us Malaysians know the country is rotting to its core for the last few decades. It only takes a Michael Backman to confirm it.

Such a pity this country could have been a 1st world country like Singapore but had to be misgoverned by a bunch of crooks using misguided policies for their own ends.

It looks like the country hasn't reach rock bottom yet and it is going to get a lot worse before it get any better.

Local companies are moving away, rich peoples are moving their money elsewhere and the country's top brains are simply draining away. Our leaders are still happily plundering the country's wealth regardless of everything else.

Our future is bleak, very bleak indeed.

julee said...

Badawi telling people to speak the truth is like an ugly woman asking her husband to tell her the truth about her looks. Any husband worth his salt would know you are asking for trouble if you listen to her.

And that is the problem, Badawi is not only similarly inconsistent, he is behaving similarly womanly, indulgent, poor in leadership, spoilt by the comforts of establish rule and structure, and still wanting more but not willing to pay the price, yet still think other people should do more and owe them more, i.e. entitlement.

It is given Badawi is not the leader to oversee great changes but rather a caretaker. The best Malaysians can hope for is that he does not mess things up worst than his predecessor would have.

And there is one danger that he will leave a legacy that could be abused worst than his predecessor by sheer inertia. By entrenching the elected Sultanate system, he puts in danger the possibility of abuse by the truly ambitious. All it takes is someone mediocre but more ambitious and we would end up a basket case.

Everything else that Badawi does is irrelevant whether good or not.

konek said...

This country has racist laws that discriminate against minority citizens. Over the last 3 decades the discrimination has gotten from bad to worse.

The policies of this government reminds us of South Africa's apartheid days which was condemned by all humanity.

I wonder how these racists can reconcile their actions with the tenets of their religion.

fong said...

The Chinese in Malaysia, are caught between a rock and a hard place. Vote for Barisan Nasional and put up with racism, inefficiency and corruption. You will see your rights as a citizen being slowly whittled away.

Vote for the opposition and no development or maintenance funds for your area. Anyway, with all the gerrymandering, the Chinese votes can't make a significant dent on Umno stranglehold on power.

So the Chinese bury their heads in the sand. They get busy earning money through legal as well as illegal means. Malaysian Chinese bookies and fake credit card syndicates are world-renowned.

Some of our most capable brains end up in Hong Kong, Singapore and other countries. The more resourceful ones find Umno partners and go into big business. The rest of us mere mortals work our butts off to save money.

While it is debatable whether the Chinese are still in control of the economy or not, there is no doubt that a small number of well-connected Chinese businessmen are among the wealthiest people in Malaysia.

However, the vast majority of the Chinese in Malaysia are in the lower middle class, the middle class and upper middle class. They are bank-tellers, doctors, engineers, farmers, hawkers, peddlers, small traders, technicians, teachers, etc. There are about seven million Chinese in Malaysia. Common sense will tell you that not all of them are wealthy.

The Chinese are fed up with the government but they really feel helpless because they have been cowed into submission.

Fortunately, our traditional work ethics come to our rescue. We work hard to save money and send our children overseas and hope that they will have a better life there and be treated as first-class citizens.

coolooc said...

The most popular subject for jokes in Malaysia is the prime minister. That is all that he is good for.

ruyom said...

Pak Lah has been derelict in his duty and appears to be incompetent.

Current events in Malaysia speak of a government that is out of control because of Pak Lah's lack of leadership. Each time something of major public concern occurs, he hides behind the scene and lets his ministers or some other person manage the problem.

A good leader will come out in the open and lead from the front not the back.

It is not proper for the government to tell the Bar Council, the country's best legal brains, what to do when its so-called law minister does not even understand the basic notion of natural justice.

The Election Commission is another tool of the government when it is supposed to be fair and neutral. How can it claim to be an election commission when everyone knows that the electoral boundaries are so biased and skewed against democracy? Is it any wonder that the Barisan always wins the elections?

The other crucial factor is the bureaucracy, those public servants who are under the people's payroll.

In Japan, for example, you see this separation of the bureaucrats and the politicians clearly. So no matter who forms the Japanese government, the bureaucracy is able to function effectively and smoothly and in fact there is even a joke that you don't need the politicians to run the country in Japan.

The government is so used to deceit and doublespeak that it is unable to think straight and that is why it is full of contradictions. Take for example, the shameful keris waving matter. Now they are coming out and saying that it will be a permanent part of their political culture.

Western kings and princes have a ceremonial sword as part of their attire but we don't see their politicians waving swords at their political meetings do we?

But in Malaysia, reminiscent of Hitler's Nazi youth groups, can do it and we know the outcome of such behaviour years later.

The country spends untold sums of money on religion, building mosques at taxpayers expense, spending millions and millions on religious schools, yet corruption is so rampant and it affects every echelon of the economy. For years, every Malaysian knows that the traffic police are corrupt. Yet the government has not done anything to stop the corruption.

Let us face it. Call an ace an ace and a spade a spade. The Malaysia government has been in power for too long and lost its moral compass. It is lost in the jungle of greed. The only thing worse than a corrupt government official is the people who support him.

The non-malays know that Pak Lah and his cronies tell them one thing and another to their own people. They are masters of doublespeak and politicians are renowned for speaking with a forked-tongue.

More and more malays now know that only a handful of cronies take the lion's share of the nation's wealth which is meant to be distributed among them more evenly. Mahathir duped them with his plan to establish a few super rich malay tycoons.

The state of the nation is not healthy. Pak Lah's administration has failed the moral test. He himself has failed the test that he established himself. Judged by his own standards and words, he has failed. Tell me the truth, work with me, yak, yak, yak, but what do we get? The opposite! And now that the Bar Council has told him the truth - he scolds them. Shish.

Let us face the truth. Politicians are not royalty born to lead. They are given the chance to lead. Take away Pak Lah's role and what is he? Look at the high and mighty Mahathir. Where is he now?

The Malay Dilemma was a myth created by Mahathir to exploit the psyche of a victim's complex innate in the malays of yesteryears. But cunning Mahathir made it out that the British and the Chinese put the malays at a disadvantage. And after 50 years of Umno rule, what have changed?

Malaysians should not be stupid but angry that their country is being exploited by the people they elected to benefit them. It took a long time to get 5000 people to sign the petition to the King. It should have taken five minutes! Or five days.

But if I announce a free porn video, be sure I will have 500000 people sign up. The young in Malaysia had better wake up and start to do something about their country, about their future.

Don't be fooled by the politicians who say the Chinese are the enemy, the Indians are the enemy, the Malays are the enemy. There is only one enemy. The one who is corrupt. Everyone else is your friend.

Save Malaysia and take part in every activity that you can and vote out the corrupt politicians to make your country a better place.

Remember your future is in your hands and don't blame anyone if you suffer because you made the wrong choice. The last time many of us were fooled - but once bitten, twice shy. Do I need to say more?

oversee said...

For those who are already in oversea and live comfortably. There is no reason for you to come back to Malaysia. Life in Malaysia is getting tougher each day.

Frankly, as a Chinese, I don't see there is any future for our next generation.

Another dangerous mentor that people always use is JFK "Don't ask what the country can do for you, ask what you can do for the country."

Is sound nice, but isn't how German Nazi and Japan militarism started the world war using the same mentor? Under the great "ask what you can do for the country."

Patriotism? Yes, I understand how you feel. Your love for the country was spoilt by the political party. Since non-malays will always be a second-class citizen, so you are probably the same in any other countries, if not better.

You get cannibalised by your own countrymen, intellectually and professionally.

As someone else advised, be a global citizen.

Patriotism does not need you to be in Malaysia to work your due. Let no one pointed at you and say you are a traitor if your true intention is to generate good deeds for Malaysia wherever you are.

Save your time about coming back to Malaysia. Nothing will change in Malaysia. At least not even in this lifetime. Racism will still be here to stay and also everything else.

I think there is such an entrenched discrimination against the Chinese and Indians in Malaysia, that it will take probably a whole generation to undo the damage.

This is happening in whole spectrum of the Malaysia government, civil service, state governments and universities. Just look at percentage of malays in all these government bodies - 98%.

A whole generation of malays has been brought up to think that it is their inherited right to own Malaysia. The other races are damned.

I think the malays especially those in power, are scared right now that if they will to compete openly with other races, they will surely be the loser. You will see very strong resistance to hire other races even the most qualified.

The malays are never brought up to compete on even ground. This is fault of previous prime minister and now the present prime minister has to tread a balance ground to ensure the malays are not cast away as well as to make Malaysia competitive worldwide.

In US I never met a malay immigrant, although there are thousands of Malaysian Chinese and Indian immigrants. Why? Malays in Malaysia have an easier life where they are literately prince of the land.

We have infrastructure good enough to be considered first world or better. Look at the Cyberjaya, Petronas Twin Towers, Putrajaya!

Gleaming high-rise buildings but also in every city, dirty toilets abound, litter clogging up the drains, public telephones damaged, plus unreliable rubbish collection and disposal. We just treat public facilities badly, not caring about others.

Being an urban dweller myself, I am constantly disheartened by the poor public infrastructure and upkeep in our capital city.

Faulty pedestrian traffic signals, illogical positioning of bus stops, poor public cleanliness, poor quality sidewalks (which are paved using slippery tiles), poorly managed and unintegrated public transportation system, the list goes on.

Your children can't even walk safely along the Kuala Lumpur streets, as they might be bags snatched, kidnapped, murdered, raped, or robbed, as they do not know the jungle laws of Malaysia. The police won't help much as they now have a big pile of corruption cases running after them.

You owe nothing to Malaysia, you pay your due, so live on.

So, my last advice. Don't come back unless you are really suffering in oversea.

I am sorry this sounds very racist but I think we have to be honest in discussion.

nuffnang

Merdeka !! Merdeka !!