Sunday, 28 October 2007
the attack on the Pentagon... "I'm sorry to hear about the attack.
It is a very big tragedy. But in case,you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
Musharraf calls Bush on 11^th Sept 2001... Mr President,I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings. I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that.
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh,and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...I will call back in an hour!
Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?
The barman says "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning World War 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
*Pakistani on the moon:*
Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?
Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?
Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?
Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?
A: ....... Problem Solved!!!
A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.
He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the
dog and saving the girl's life.
A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are
a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers... Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl.
The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning... Brave American saves life of little girl, the policeman
"But I am not an American!", says the man. Oh, what are you then?"
The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
The next day the newspapers say... "A Terrorist kills innocent American dog".
Thursday, 25 October 2007
While our leaders in Bolehland is busy celebrating our future Datuk's return from a successful mission onboard the Soyuz-10 recently, NASA is more sober in a way.
Y ??? Check this out. Our Angkasa1 is being labelled as a spaceflight participant !!!!!! An astronaut , a cosmonaut or a spaceflight participant ( a.k.a all expenses paid trip (by the poor rakyat ) space tourist ). You decide ! Its clearly made known that Bolehland forked out a big sum of money to Russia in order to launch a Malaysian into orbit celebrating Hari Raya and to have him eating rendang tok in ISS during Hari Raya !!!!!!
The Russians had made their intention clear that on the next launch , that the Russian Space Agency , Roskosmos , would offer another seat for theie next launch to ISS in 2010/1. SO how much we poor rakyat has to fork out again ???
Just a little update on those scammers. They never bother to reply after my latest reply to them !! Haha they must be fXcking around and cursing me now for wasting their time !!!
Wednesday, 24 October 2007
The late Tan Sri Lim Goh Tong was a living legend when he was alive. He passed away peacefully at 90 and his success story in turning the forested hills of Genting into a fabulous casino resort will remain unrivalled for years to come.
He has brought joy and sweet memories into our childhood, where we all always look foward to a day's outing at the only theme park then. It has also brought joy and bitter memoies to many at his infamous casino.
Uncle Lim, as he is fondly known, epitomised the rags to riches story of the Chinese immigrant. He is truly a Malaysia Boleh figure. I just cant think of any other Malaysian who can rival his success. His business empire he left behind encompasses plantations, property , power generation , oil and gas explorations and cruise industries worth a whopping USD 22 billion !!!! All that starts with only a suitcase and $175 at that time. Even Wall Street Journal carries an article in their latest edition. This is his power and status in the international business world.
Our former PM , Tun Mahathir , called him an exemplary corporate citizen , who complied with regulations and policies and willingly supported the government restructuring efforts and still be able to achieve outstanding success.
We salute his awe his greatness !!!!
May his soul rest in peace and bless us all.
Tuesday, 23 October 2007
Their reply :
ADDRESS OF HEAD OFFICE:Link Place, BRIGHTON,
Sussex, BN1 7DX,ENGLAND
The original copy of your winning certificate, together with a covering document (Money Laundering protection and Letter of Affidavit for Claims) from the British government stating that the money was obtained legally through the SWISS ON-LINE LOTTERY
You can now begin the final step of the claims process, which is the couriering of your won prize to you. With regards to this, there are three options open to you, you are required to select the most convenient of the three below.
Registered Office: Link Place, BRIGHTON,
Sussex, BN1 7DX,ENGLAND,
Regulated by the Financial Services Authority.
© 2007 ScarLet Courier LTD.
And my reply to them.
Dear Mr Owen,
As instructed, I am choosing DHL to send me the winning cheque.
But as I am very broke at this moment, can you please pay on my behalf and I would revert back the full amount to you plus interest, once I have the winning prize money ???
Also as a gesture of your appreciation for your, I would also share with you £10,000 .
Awak I.S. Sochai
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Ans a search on google on Scarlet Courier Service reveals this .
Their quick reply.
60 MERRIMAN ROAD BLACKHEATH
LONDON SE3 8RZ ENGLAND
REF NO: SL/74/368/05
Winner's name: Awak Ingat Saya Sochai,
On Behalf of the Screening Committee of SWISS ON-LINE LOTTERY, I wish to formally inform you that you have successfully passed the Email Screening and Verification Matching Test conducted for all online winners in your winning in accordance with the Swiss On-line Lottery Terms and Conditions. Hence you are therefore cleared for payment by the verifications and fund release department at the Swiss On-line Lottery Headquarters and your winnings has been duly signed and approved for release to you by the legal attorney to the Swiss On-line Lottery .
Scarlet Courier Service
Link Place, BRIGHTON,
Sussex, BN1 7DX,ENGLAND
Cardiff. N.S.W. 2285
1) Winner's Full Names:
2) Present Full Address:
3) Telephone Number:
4) Raffle Draw Winning Email:
5) Amount Won:
6) Winning Reference Number:
7) Winning Batch Number:
8) Winning Transfer Identification code: ELPC/MWT/0143
9) Winning Certificate Number: UK/9876125
Note that there exists a periodic condition on all claims process; therefore you have limited time to claim your winnings. Failure to claim your winnings within the stipulated time frame will lead to the forfeiture of your winnings after which your winnings remitted back to the Swiss On-line Lottery Headquarters and will then be added to next winning draws. Also kindly be aware that the Swiss On-line Lottery winning prizes are regulated by the Financial Services Authority and as a result, you are advice to follow the Lottery Claims Terms and Conditions to ensure the remittance of your prize to you within the stipulated time of the claiming of winnings.
Mr. Micheal Anderson
Please note that this email and any files that may be attached to it is/are confidential and is/are intended for the sole use of the individual(s) or entity (is) to which it/they is/are addressed. Any use,distribution,copying or disclosure by any other person or entity is strictly prohibited under applicable law(s).Opinions, conclusions and other information in this message that do not relate to official business of NATIONAL LOTTERY and insurance shall be understood to be neither given nor endorsed by NATIONAL LOTTERY finance and insurance when addressed to concern finance and insurance clients; and any information contained in this email is subject to the terms and conditions of the governing client's contract(s).
COPYRIGHT © 1994-2007 ALL RIGHT RESERVED
Saturday, 20 October 2007
Hey by the way..in order to claim I have to reply to a certain email !! By the way...the bloke thought that I was born yesterday ????? Another bloody scammer on the loose.
Interested parties , please feel free to reply to the below address and see wher it goes from there. I'll try mu luck and will post his replies here for you guys to enjoy and laugh your head off !!!!! Wah Sultan of Brunei and Bill Gates also got involved in da prize money wor.... why Michael Jackson, George Bush , QE , Michael Schumacher, Li Ka -SHing never sponsor meh ??
Also note that , such a 'big' organization like a lottery board , cant even afford their own website ??? Still have to rely on free yahoo email account ??? Stupid right ????
The email : Please note that the letter is badly written, even the word ' Contact ' is spelled wrongly !!!
COMTACT MR. MICHEAL ANDERSON IMMEDIATELY.Standard HeaderFull Message View
AddSaturday, October 20, 2007 1:04:03 AM
INTERNATIONAL PROMOTIONS/PRIZE AWARD DEPARTMENT
SWISS ONLINE LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL
60 MERRIMAN ROAD BLACKHEATHLONDON SE3 8RZ ENGLAND
REF NO: SL/74/368/05BATCH NO:SL-121-LT-11-12-05
DEAR WINNER,WE ARE PLEASED TO INFORM YOU THAT AS A RESULT OF OUR RECENT DRAWS HELD in October 19th 2007.
Your e-mail address attached to ticket number 27427465896-582 with serial number 772-662 drew lucky numbers 3-14-18-28-31-40 which consequently won in the 2nd category.You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay out of £750,000 (Seven Hundred AND FIFTY THOUSAND POUNDS )Note that All participants in this lottery program have been selected randomly through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual email addresses from all search engines and web sites.
This promotional program takes place every year,and is promoted and sponsored by eminent personalities like the Sultan of Brunei, bill gates of Microsoft inc and other corporate organizations. this is to encourage the use of the internet and computers worldwide For security purpose and clarity, we advise that you keepyour winning information confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to you.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claims and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. We look forward to your active participation in our next year US D50 million slot.
To file for your claim,please contact our fiducially agent claims officer via email as soon as possible for the immediate release of your winnings:
MR Micheal AndersonE-mailaddress:firstname.lastname@example.org
Note in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications,Do fill out the claims form toMr. Micheal Anderson in other to process the claims of your prize without delay.
8.Country Of Residence:
Further more, should there be any change of address do inform our agent as soon as possible.Congratulations once again
NOTE: YOU ARE AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIED IF YOU ARE BELOW 18 YEARS OF AGE.Sincerely yours,Mr. Graham Tunner( Lottery Coordinator )
Below is my reply :
Dear Mr Anderson,
I am glad to reply to be chosen as a winner and I am extremelly happy with this windfall, as I am in dire need of money at this moment to turn my business around. This winning is really god sent and god has answerred my prayers !!!!
Below is the informations that you needed.
1.Full Name: Awak Ingat Saya Sochai
2.Full Address: 23, Jalan Pukimak U lah , Taman Bodoh, 55000, Serangoon, Singapore
3.Marital Status: Married
8.Country Of Residence: Singapore
9.Telephone Number: +65 8811967
Hope to receive his reply soon and would update u guys on it !!!!!
Wednesday, 17 October 2007
Hmm....u don wanna experience it !!!!! My holiday at room 709 of Gleneagles Hospital. So damm boring..especially with the numerous poking for blood for testing wor.....Luckily I have my laptop and several books to pass my time and of coz my BB accompany me ..hehe.
Rashes . At this stage was still under suspected viral infection. Turns out tobe dengue wor...
After 3 days on drip. Note that my hand is swollen !!! I refused to be on drip on the 4th day.
After numerous of poking for blood for testing.... No more place to take blood samples leh....
Home sweet home in the best bed in town ,after 5 torturing days in hospital. I am finally back resting in my room !!!
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
*1. Free black plastic bag *
You can't get those cool black coloured bags anywhere.The ones sold outside are too big and they are meant for the tong sampah.
*2. Family bond *
Every weekend, when you go to wangsa maju JJ, you can see little kids running to the VCD shop to select their favourite Pokemon cartoon VCD.
And then mommy will come along to find her favourite Teresa Teng VCD. Next comes big sister to select her favourite VCD. And lastly, big Bro and daddy searching for the latest movies .. and try to eye for some you-know-what VCD. Anyway, the whole idea is, the pirated VCD shop is like a place for weekend family reunion. When was the last time you saw daddy buying little Billy a VCD in Speedy Video ?
*3. Cinema sucks*
When you reach the cinema, you'll have to line up for 15 minutes before it's your turn to get the ticket. By then, they tell you ticket sudah habis. So you buy tickets for the next show and have to wait another 3 hours. When the
time comes, the ticket usher stops you from bringing nasi lemak and cha-kuay-teow into the hall.So you're forced to line up another 10 minutes in the snack bar. By then, you're already late for the show. Lampu sudah
tutup when you go in. Oooppss.. terjatuh and everyone laughs at you. Next, the cinema bores you with 15 minutes of iklan. Frankly speaking, I dunno why the government ban 'triple x' VCDs when all the beer commercials in the
cinema feature sluts dancing around. Later, your handphone rings and everyone boos you. At last, the show ends but you'll need to beratur through the smelly exit. After 30 mintues, you notice that your handphone is lost.
The only thing good about cinemas is the fact that you can throw kua-chi on the floor.
*4. Customer Friendly Sellers. *
Buying VCDs from the stall is like dining in a luxury restaurant. First, those blond hair sellers will greet you with 'leng-Chai. It's now time to order the meal. If you know what to order, they will search the title for
you. But if you're undecided, these fellas will suggest some meals for you. Strangely, all movies (according to them) are nice to watch. When you've finished, here comes the main course. The rectangular box containing all the finest artistic international stuff.(porn?).. And you can bargain too! But when you buy VCDs from Speedy Video, the shop assistants will stand few meters away from you, with their arms tied and eyes alert, thinking that
you're another shoplifter.
*5. Beli barangan buatan Malaysia *
The title says it all. No need to say more.
Everyone must "sokong" this.
*6. Excessive censorship.
You go to the movies...*while watching the most suspense part in a love movie....as the guy and girl are about to kiss...all of a sudden, the screen goes into matrix mode. And then it changes to some dull scene. Doesn't this
sound familiar? Say thank you to our censorship board for helping us remove the "naughty" parts. You never get this when you buy pirated CDs.
*7*. Original CD, VCDs are sold at cutthroat prices.
6 years ago, piracy was a minority because of the original CD pricing and contents. 3 years ago, they increased original CD prices by 70% and say it's because of import duties, tax and other crap.While at the same time,
the pirated CD prices drop by 50% - 70%. Customers would prefer to buy from a sale right?
*8*. Piracy helps students to learn new programs at a reduced cost.
If every student is going to spend RM800 just to buy Adobe Photoshop, thenMalaysia would lag behind in the computer graphics industry. So in the long run, Malaysia 's economic status becomes better with more knowledgeablecitizens.
*9*. Reducing our trade deficit
As people are willing to spend money on pirated CDs but not that willing to buy original cds, they are circulating the money and helping to reduce the outflow of our country's cash.
*10*. Pirated VCDs offer the latest movies,
Even before they are shown in the U.S. ! Compare this to original VCDs, where you have to wait for a few
months after the movie is first released.
You make your choice !!!!! Also with our cost of living going up, thanks for the increase in petrol, water, electricity and tolls... we have no choice to stretch our ringgit further by, buying pirated VCD's. Would you spend RM55 ( for 5 adults tcikets ) or pay RM5 for the same movie at home ?????
1. A judge asked a woman on why she wanted a divorce.
She answered, "Your Honor, he knew I'm a vegetarian n yet he still insists on putting his
meat in my mouth."
2. Woman: Dr. An ant entered my vagina, please take it out.
Doctor removes her panties and start making love .
Woman: What are you doing?
Doctor: This is the only way to drown the bastard!
3. Question: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
Answer: YOUR SALARY. It comes once a month last 3 / 4 days & if it doesn't
come you are in deep trouble!
4. A lady visited her doctor again, Dr. said: U look more sick & exhausted
then b 4.
Are u having 3 meals a day as I advised?
Lady: WHAT? I thought u said 3 MALES a day!!!!
6. A nun went 4 a urine test. The sample got mixed up. When the doctor told
her she was pregnant,she cried n said," Shit,we can't even trust
7. A boy pulls down his pants in front of a girl & asked" Do U have this?
" The girl lifted up her skirt & said," My mom said with this I can have a
lot of THAT!"
8. Schoolgirl: I do not want to take the SEX EDUCATION.
Class Teacher:Why not?
Schoolgirl: Someone told me the FINAL EXAM would be ORAL!"
9. Mother asks daughter, how is married life? Daughter shyly says like
BRITISH AIRWAYS. Mother reads the ad & is shocked " 7 DAYS A WEEK,TWICE
A DAY,BOTH WAYS!
10. What is the STRONGEST muscle? TONGUE- It can raise a woman's hip with
just one lick!. The lightest muscle? PENIS! It can be raised by a
11. Lady Immigration officer asked a Korean tourist: Name? Park Yu.
The 0fficer become angry & shouted back: FUCK YOU! Now what's your full
name? Korean replied: PARK YU TOO!!
12. Man to wife: Business is bad if u learn 2 cook we can remove servant.
Wife: ASSHOLE! If u learn how to fuck we can remove driver, gardener &
13. COCK say to his two BALLS: I am going to take you with me to a party.
BALLS said: You big fucking liar. You always get INSIDE and leave us
14. A baby dog asked mama dog how papa look like? Mama dog reply: How I
know. Your papa came from behind & I didn't have chance to see his face" !
15. What's the difference between stress, tension & panic? Stress is when
wife is pregnant, tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, PANIC is
when both are pregnant!
Wednesday, 10 October 2007
our handphone number
1) key-in the first 3 digits of your handphone number (not the 01x number) into the calculator
2) multiply by 80
3) add 1
4) multiply by 250
5) plus last four digits of phone number
6) plus last four digits of phone number again
7) minus 250
8) Finally, divide by 2
Is this your handphone number????
Friday, 5 October 2007
Yeah I was hospitalized on Tuesday night for suspected viral infection/dengue. After numerous days of poking here and there for blood specimen ( I feels like I am an alien, where scientist taking blood samples from me for testing over and over again. Until both my hands are full of plasters ) .
At last I a diagonized as having dengue fever. But as I came in early, the effects of dengue wasnt that really great on me. Chilling stories of internal bleeding , bone aches , high n low fever, chilling etc, really haunts me when i first suspected to be dengue. But after going over it.. its ok. No sudden change of fever ( about 38c ) , no bone aches etc.....
But the 2 day of test and numerous testing suggest that I might be down with viral fever, but not knowing what affects you is really annoying. But the fact that my bb is here to accompany me really helps me a lot. BB I love you again.
But to add salt to the wound, i am also diagonized with diabetic :( No more yummy food..no more sweet food.... sigh. But anyway the world hasnt really collapsed on me yet as there is still Coke Light.... unsweetened biscuits , unsweetened dark chocolates and thanks god I still can have my coffee !!!!!
So from now on....no more yummy food reviews !!!! Wait..just seen the dietician and a diabetes care specialist, hehe I still can continue but I must really look out for what I am eating and in small portions...and a spoon of two of cendol or ABC still wouldnt hurt much. Hehe thanks god !!!!
Tuesday, 2 October 2007
Upon getting the 2nd opinion from my family GP, he suggested me to do a Dengue test and now I am still waiting for the results... Good news is that it could also be due to viral infection as dropping blood count and rashes only suggest dengue fever..and a test need to be done to reconfirm on it. Just hope for the best now....
Sorry B, the last time you were here my brother was down with dengue and robbed our paktor time..hhis time it wouldnt hopefully time it wouldnt happen again !!!!!