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Was reading a buddy's blog few days ago and it reminded me of this unfateful day 14months ago , 29 Dec 07 to be exact. Yeah I want you to know brother I am facing the same problem as you do and we are on the same boat.Was ok until i read this................

" My mood fluctuated. A moment I can be as chirpy as a bird but I can be also really down on another. The moment "she" conquered my mind, I felt that way. It happened just like that. I seem to be in auto-cruise in my own world.

It had been 2 years, 2 months & 17 days. I felt lousy, I felt weak, I felt defeated. Many of times, best buddies around me who see me this way, I made them felt lousy and many of times they try to wake me up by putting knife after knife into my mentality but thus far, no one had really manage to mend the wound I am nursing. Guys, sorry I disappointed you but you are not me, you would not understand the feeling, really. I do appreciate your advices but my ears only chose what I want to hear and eliminate those I do not want to.

(Taking a deep sigh) I felt that I am being haunted, I saw someone that actually look like her, again like I said I am in my own world. Who understands this nonsensical feeling that I am enduring now? Who had been through this? Yes, again & again I hear words like, "Dude, it's not the end of the world!" Yeah, I do know that! That's why I have not even ended my own life foolishly after so long. But it is just that feeling that is haunting me. The wrongdoing of mine, the regrets & the pain. I apologize my dear, really I do.

What happened to him is just the carbon copy of me. The only difference is that its been 14 month........... Yes you are right by asking me to forget her, I tried but at times its just uncontrolable. Youve been thru the same and you should understand . Not that I've not tried to start a new relationship , but the past really haunts me . Would I end up being the same again etc ??????

Just a simple song that of what happened then ..........